Living in the south, I've often witnessed this, but never in a REAL personal way. Sure, I've been called names, accused of being a racist, various other things, usually by black people. But today topped the cake.
I was treated very nastily today. I was taken aback, because I've never done anything TO this person, never talked bad about them, I've often said hello to them, and was confused because I was glared at or outright ignored. The whole situation has been strange, but because I rarely work with this person, I rarely thought a whole lot about it, and just chalked it up to them having a bad day.
Today, after a couple nasty incidents that rubbed me the wrong way, it got even worse, and I finally confronted said person. "What have I done to piss you off?"..."Nothing."..."Then why are you so nasty to me?"..."Because you're white."..."Excuse me??"..."Because you're white and you think everything should be for you."..."I do???"..."All whites do. All ya'll do is keep us down...look at what happened after The Storm...white America only cares about white America." My response...after a moment of slack-jawed shock? "I'm so sorry for you. Nothing I can say can remove your hatred, and you must be very unhappy." I walked away to the tune of "White bitch" ringing in my ears.
Should I report it? Probably. Will I? No. What purpose would it serve? I'm going to TRY to put it behind me, not an easy thing to do considering how empathetic and paranoid I am, but I'm going to try my best. I've done nothing wrong...I'd say 98% of the blacks in our store like me (that know me). I have a history of racism in my family in the worst way, and maybe if I'm guilty of anything, its trying too hard NOT to be a racist. Does that in turn make me a racist? Maybe...its something I'll have to think about in depth.
3 comments:
Sheesh...Kandy that's horrible!! I'm sorry that this person had to be that way...
Now don't hate me, but what would have happened if you had just said "I'm sorry you feel that way, and I hope you know that I'm not like that." and walked away?
If you had previously worked well together then it would make sense that something had happened to her recently, and she was lashing out. A sympathetic gesture goes a long way.
Not that I think you did anything wrong, but I tend to think much of the animosity we see in the world is the result of a bad circumstance or day, where a kind word, hug, or gesture can bring people back from the brink, YK?
I'm sorry she hurt your feelings ((K)).
I wouldn't hate you Jac :)
Actually, I thought I'd given a little history, but I was so upset its possible I forgot to lol. I trained this person...and she'd treated me with hostility from the very beginning, which confused me. She treats all whites and hispanics the same way according to other associates.
Yes, I COULD have responded better...I was so shocked and upset that I couldn't think of anything appropriate to say. Hopefully, if anything similar happens in the future with someone else, I'll be able to have a better answer due to experience :)
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