Thursday, June 21, 2007

Could be better...could be worse...

I don't know...I just haven't felt like keeping up with this lately. I'm so tired...hurting so much...and I honestly feel like I'm having a lot of trouble "keeping it all together."

Someone at work complained to management about something I supposedly did...and I didn't do it, but I kinda did...that doesn't make sense does it? Its against policy to make scheduling changes/arrangements with other associates off the clock...someone came in, we were talking, I mentioned I was having this procedure done next week and was worried about who would work my shifts, she said she was coming back, and I jokingly said "Oh well then you can cover it!" and she laughed and said sure, as soon as she came back she'd see what she could do. That was it. It turned into a story that I called her...and I don't even have her phone number!

My chest hurts so badly...its all from the abdominal troubles...please God, please let this procedure give me some relief. I'm afraid to get my hopes up about it.

I don't know now what's going to happen with CSM...it seems like the past two days I'm being complained about a lot. I know I aggravate some folks...I get manic and talk too much. I try so hard to help, that I end up irritating rather than assisting. I get that. I try to control it, but its getting harder.

Oh well. Screw it. I'll just keep on keeping on, and try to hold it all together. I think I know where some of my meds are...I think I may not be completely out after all. It'll take a couple weeks to start seeing any benefits, but at least it'd be a start.

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