UGH UGH UGH

I'm swinging again. I'm sitting here in tears and its so stupid. What a day...what an anniversary!

We got to the church, and everyone was having fun, hanging out, waiting for their portrait proofs, etc., and all I could do was sit on a pew and feel miserable. I wasn't able to interact with anyone. I just felt completely alienated and I think I was probably downright rude to those who did try to talk to me.

The portraits went well...I didn't see the proofs but Justin said they were awesome. But...not only could we not afford an anniversary dinner, we couldn't afford any pictures either, and that just sucks. I mean, its not like its a big deal...we at least get one free (I think) and we should be able to order more later, but will we ever really have the money?

We have to make some sacrifices to pay our bills off...its a good thing really...in 2-3 years we'll be able to build that house without having to worry about an endless cc debt. That will make everything worth it. And we'll be able to buy Justin a new truck...my van will be paid off next year. I can't WAIT to buy something for Justin...he never gets anything new, unless you count socks and underwear, and who wants to only get socks and underwear? lol

I feel like I'm coming apart tonight. I did go ahead and take my meds, but I didn't want to at all. I'll be so glad when they regulate...I hate this hate this hate this!