"Being Poor"

One of the ladies on my board posted a link to a blog post called Being Poor. Its a long list of what "poor" people go through on a daily basis. I wanted to post a big post about it, but it would have started a huge controversy on my board, because there are a few folks who live for nothing more than to point out to everyone why they're racist, bigots, insensitive, etc...nevermind that their own comments while they're pointing this out are pretty damned hurtful too. So I'll post my thoughts here instead.

Growing up I was blessed with parents that would do any job, no matter how menial, when my dad would get laid off a lot. He was an oilfield worker, and his rigs kept getting stacked, until he made crane operator...then even if the rig got stacked, he still had a job. I also had family that helped out (and we always helped them when we were able) so I always had clothes and never knew things were tight.

That blog entry didn't make me cry. Guess I'm the cold-hearted one. Most of the things on that list I was thinking "yep, done that...yup, been there". All it did was make me thankful that while some things on the list STILL apply for me, I'm in a position now where I am able to get a few "luxuries" that I never had the opportunity for before I met Justin.

When I left my first husband, he refused to pay child support in an effort to "win" me back I guess...I'm not really sure why and I was never able to pursue the matter, since I had no money for a lawyer so I could go to court for a separation child support maintenance order. I got WIC and commodities for the kids, went to Salvation Army and Christian Services for their weekly and monthly "grocery boxes", and fed the kids whatever food I could beg or borrow. I myself was a restaurant manager and worked EVERY day so that I could use my one free meal a day to feed myself. All of my money went to bills and the largest chunk to daycare. It cost almost as much for daycare for my kids as I made in a week after taxes. My car, which I was so proud of when I'd bought it (and it only had 5 months and it was paid off) was repo'd and there was nothing I could do about it. I was insanely happy to have starved myself down from a size 12 to a size 4 so that I could wear all the pre-pregnancy clothes I had. My mother had to buy clothes for my kids. Their Christmases were thanks to Angel Tree. I applied for food stamps, I applied for welfare, and was turned down because I was still married (but had been separated for 3 years) and even though he lived in another freaking state, they wouldn't help me. The lady said it was because I was the wrong race. I didn't believe that for a long time until I saw some of my employees who I KNEW were on welfare driving brand new cars...and heard them bragging about their $800 A MONTH in food stamps. I went to Legal Aid for assistance in getting my divorce (I couldn't afford a lawyer) and THEY wouldn't help me for the same reasons (my household income was too high, even though my spouse didn't LIVE in my household so his salary should NOT have been a consideration). At the time, I was making $250-275 a week before taxes and receiving no child support. The ONLY aid I had was $398 a month in SSI payments Jared got for his epilepsy, and that stopped after 2 years because I was honest about it when he stopped having seizures.

I never want to go back there, and pray I never have to. I feel for those who still live there, but I can't shed tears for them. I did enough crying for myself.

What's wrong with our country when we spend millions to feed people overseas, and our own citizens are starving themselves? Makes no sense to me and never will. And THAT'S another debate.