Wow...its been almost a month since I blogged. A lot has happened...and yet not much has changed. I've been in and out of the hospitals in Hattiesburg and New Orleans, and I feel pretty despondent about a lot of it.
Good news...I had another liver biopsy and it was negative. Cancer is gone for good I hope and pray, but there's always the chance of a recurrence, so I have to be vigilant.
I think I'm addicted to IV drugs. I'm not sure but I think I am. In the hospital I could have as much as I wanted (with time restraints of course) and I got all that I could. I have the same drugs here at home and I never touch them, but it really disturbs me how I hit the drugs in the hospital. I don't want to have an addiction, but I know I have an addictive personality. My paternal grandmother was addicted to every pain killer she could get her hands on. That's one reason I've always been hesitant to use pain killers. However lately I find myself hitting them every time I'm in the hospital. Maybe its because I've been in so much pain so often lately...I pray that's the reason. I have hope because I HAVEN'T touched the pain killers that I have here at home. I keep the bottles where I see them every day...its almost like a badge of honor for me to see them constantly but not use them.
Maybe I'm just messed up...there's a good reason LOL.
1 comment:
I told you my theory earlier, and I bet I'm right. The very reason I don't take prescription drugs is because my dad is an alcoholic, and I don't want to go there.
I don't think you're addicted. I think you're worried about becoming addicted. And I think you need the painkillers, and you like recieving them in the hospital where you'll be safe. (((HUGS)))
And praise God that the biopsy was negative! I was worried about that one!
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