I'm sick and tired of hurting. August was great, I was in no pain for a while. Now the pain is back and no one can explain why. My surgeon back in March told me that you could do a hundred needle biopsies and have them all come back negative and completely miss the cancer, so I'm feeling a little down about that as well.
My guts are all in the wrong place, as are the rest of my organs. My liver regrew weird and its caused everything to be pushed around and I actually have a partially collapsed right lung because of all of it. I guess that explains the shortness of breath.
People have commented on my cheerful, positive attitude through all of this. I'm not feeling so cheerful or positive today. I'm tired of the doctors getting EXCITED when they review my case, and then they proclaim me to be a "unique" case. I can see them mentally rubbing their hands together in glee because they get to experiment with something new.
I'm disgusted by it all, and even more so by my attitude today. I don't like being this way...I feel mean and petty and that pisses me off even more. UGH.
No comments:
Post a Comment